For years, I believed that living without shame was like living without blood…there was just no way I could ever do it.
Every morning, I would put my shame on like a dress around my heart. My “shame dress” was heavy and colored with guilt, dishonor, self-reproach, and humiliation. Inside I was a wreck. Yet like a typical shame sufferer, I kept it to myself.
The only thing worse than the shame I was carrying was others knowing what was really going on in my heart.
What was I so ashamed of?
My shame came from my poor relationship with Jesus.
You see, I knew that I needed to be seeking Him more, reading more, praying more and feeling more…something. However, I came up empty-handed every time. I could not get the hang of this Christianity thing.
Was a relationship with Jesus just not meant for me?
Because I had grown up in church, I knew that was not true. Jesus welcomes all who believe in Him. However, in my secret heart, I feared that I would never be on His “good side”. He would never look at me with a smile on His face or rejoice when my name ran through His mind.
Since Jesus knew me completely, He was aware of how distracted I would get while praying. He knew that I read my Bible occasionally and only out of obligation. Jesus knew that half the time my outward behavior and my heart did not line up.
What about me could Jesus possibly love or want?
I was the poster child for shame. He had given His all for me and I couldn’t give Him even 15 minutes of daily devotion in return. I was a waste of His holiness.
With all of these thoughts banging around in my head, it did not take long before I started living my life as though they were true. I accepted my shame gracefully and tried my best to make Jesus like me in spite of who I really was.
This act went on for years. It was exhausting, painful, humiliating and simply heartbreaking.
I just wanted freedom from my shame. Was it possible for me to have that deep relationship with Jesus that my heart longed for?
The answer was yes! When it comes to seeking Jesus and answer is always yes!
One day, the reality hit me that I was living within the confinements of a lie. You see, Satan did not necessarily care if I was a Christian as long as I remained a defeated, ineffective one. So to keep me where he wanted me, Satan just kept slipping those lies, doubts, and fears into my path.
However, on that beautiful, appointed day, Jesus exposed Satan’s hateful scheme and brought the truth to the surface.
There was no powerful sermon or compelling song on the radio, instead, I was just going through the motions of a normal workday.
I had stopped briefly to read my assigned chapter in the Bible study I had just started. Jesus just started revealing Himself to me through the New Testament Gospels. He was telling me that I was not a byproduct of shame but rather of life.
On the day that I had asked Jesus in my heart so many years ago, He had made me white as snow. He had given me the dress that He wanted my heart to wear. No longer did I have to keep putting on that “shame dress” with all of its offensive words and joy-killing colors. Those days were gone.
Jesus Christ had set me free from shame on the day of His death. It was time for me to claim my freedom and walk within it.
Now, I still have my days and I know that Jesus will be working on my heart until the day I go to be with Him, but today I am living in freedom from my shame! I know who I am in Christ and I believe that He is walking with me and helping me every step of the way!
“But the Lord God helps me, therefore I have not been disgraced, therefore I will set my face like a flint and know that I shall not be put to shame.” Isaiah 50:7 ESV
Hey y’all! My name is Summer Overstreet. I am a Christ believing, Sunday school teaching, sweet tea drinking Southern belle. In addition to writing, I have been a floral designer for seventeen years. My heart is to inspire women to find their identity and confidence in Jesus. Jesus wants us to know who He is and who we are in Him. I would love to see you at jessicasummeroverstreet.com soon!
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Sisters, we are called to walk the way of hope instead of the way of defeat.We must claim more than our title of “Daughter of the King.” We must step up and also claim our position.
And we must claim these together. As a sisterhood; a sisterhood of brave women who stand strong in the promises of who God is and who we are.
- We all are Made for Brave.
- We are made to live for something authentic and brave.
- And in living brave, we silence the past, transform the future, and take a front row seat to God’s wild and uncontainable love!
So, I’m inviting you to join this Made for Brave Sisterhood, each Monday as we share our stories and allow God to bring hope and healing. Let’s commit to being authentic and brave, one step at a time, side by side, holding each other up and nudging each other toward our true selves. And let’s claim the victory waiting on the other side of brave; for ourselves and our sisterhood.
Let’s celebrate our tears and our struggles as we peel away the layers of fear to reveal the beauty of brave.
Let’s risk everything that brave requires for everything that brave has to offer…
Becoming who we were created to be!
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