While driving my minivan, a strange light appeared on the dashboard. I’d never seen it before and didn’t know what it meant. It looked like an exclamation mark inside parentheses: (!) I grabbed my phone and took a picture of the strange light (don’t worry, the van was parked) and I sent the picture to my husband, Jeff, with the question: Any idea what (!) means? He texted back and said it meant either a flat tire or a tire that’s getting low on air. So I stepped out to examine all four tires, and sure enough, one was quite low. It had a slow leak. Those flickering lights on the dashboard tell us when something needs tending. Maybe the car is low on fuel. Maybe the car is leaking oil. The lights on the dashboard help us intervene before we end up with a flat tire, run out of gas, Continue Reading
When Marriage Needs a God Intervention
"Better a small serving of vegetables with love than a fattened calf with hatred." Proverbs 15:17 (NIV) Eleven years together called for a celebration. So we tried. We really did. And in an effort to recreate the magic of our wedding night, we dined on lobster and steak and booked a room for the night. This time instead of the Rocky Mountains, we overlooked the Atlantic. From the outside our lives sparkled like the earrings Tim gave me that night. But on the inside our hearts had become hardened toward one another. Because while we still loved each other, we loved ourselves more. It was either his way or my way, never our way. Without a God intervention, we were on course for divorce. Our words were few that night. I determined it was better to chew my food than the aftermath of Continue Reading
Rising Above Unhappy in Marriage
Honestly, the memories still feel fresh. They’ve long passed and healed, yet they’ve left scars. Not scars that remind me of pain, but scars forever reminding me of the power and hope of a God who saves. Life was upside down. Our once chaotic, yet predictably peaceful existence as a family of four had disappeared in a moment. We had stepped into the world of international adoption and fallen deeply in love with a little girl God called a Schumaker long before we’d ever seen her face. We didn’t know it, but our little Schumaker had suffered the unimaginable and the trauma and neglect had taken its toll on her mind and body. Classes. Books. Counselors. Doctors. We did it all in preparation, but none of it touched the depths of the battle we were about to fight. Malnutrition, PTSD, Continue Reading
Your Happily Ever After Marriage?
I’ve been writing in this quiet space for a few years now, and one of the topics I rarely write about is marriage. Although I am a huge advocate of marriage and believe marriage matters, I never feel qualified. Because quite frankly, I’ve never been really good at marriage. Partly because my expectations of all that would come after “I do” have not matched up with reality. Don’t get me wrong, there have been plenty of beautiful, magnificent moments, three amazing kids and too many furry critters to count. But there have also been hurdles and struggles sharper and more jagged than I ever imagined having the strength or will to navigate. And these have challenged my commitment and staying power so deeply, that sometimes the only thread holding this sacred union together was my/our Continue Reading