Don’t we all want our children to become confident and humble human beings?

For years I hung a magnet of “100 Ways to Praise Your Child” on the front of my refrigerator. Until one day I decided to toss it in the trash because it was doing more damage than good. Although the intentions were admirable, it fell short of helping me cultivate a balance between confidence and humility.

Like most parents, I wanted my children to develop a strong sense of who they were regardless of whether they succeeded or failed. And by focusing on praising them for every accomplishment, I was placing too much emphasis on the reward and not enough on the process.

It’s in the process, not the reward where refining and character building takes place.

Even when the process includes failure and setbacks.

I didn’t want them to become so engrossed in self that the praise blinded them to life beyond their own ego. That they’d crave or depend on the approval of others and forsake actively trying to meet the needs of those around them. I didn’t want them to acquire confidence as the result of validation or admiration from others. Because this kind of confidence would not see them through difficult situations and challenges in life. And it certainly wouldn’t carry them toward their authentic life’s passion.

A quiet confidence is rooted not in what we do but in who we are. Share on X

It’s a subtle shift when praising a child becomes a stumbling block to arrogance and self-sufficiency.

And in the midst of the shift, what gets left by the wayside is humility. The kind of humility that is able to recognize God’s work in them and through them. Humility to give praise and admiration to God for his abundant and unconditional grace in their lives. Humility to treasure God’s sustaining mercy to carry them through poor choices and trials.

Perhaps this task of building confidence and humility doesn’t begin with 100 reminders on a refrigerator magnet.

Cultivating a confident and humble heart in our child begins by first investing in our own heart.

It begins with letting go of self-sufficiency and embracing divine strengthening. Perhaps it begins with opening our hearts to grace and our hands to sacrifice and service. Where we walk hand-in-hand with the One who calls us to shed our ego and clothe ourselves in Him.

Our Source…our refuge…our identity.

And perhaps it begins with laying down our lives and allowing him to lift us up. To a higher place with greater visibility of those living life within our view. Where wisdom is our companion and humility the beacon that moves us to invest in the life of another.

So when it’s time to show our children the way…

They can see that we’ve made the journey first.

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♥Come back next week for encouragement on how to help our children Embrace Great Expectations!

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This Week’s Featured Fresh Find…

If you’re new to Fresh Market Friday, you can find more about the community HERE.

Each week, it’s my pleasure to select one writer from the link-up to showcase on my blog for the entire week. I’m excited to announce this week’s Featured Fresh Find is Esther Dorotik over at Chosen and Cherished!

You are going to love how Esther takes what many of us experience…a tired and underwhelmed prayer life, and turns it into an orderly and organized system that provides a fresh way to invite God into our thoughts and prayers. To transform and shape our hearts and our lives, because “every day is a call to prayer.”

And Esther doesn’t just leave us with an idea. She provides us with a tutorial for how to set up a prayer journal and has included free printables to guide us through Praise, Selfie, My Loves, Prayer List, He Speaks, Bible Studies, and Verses.

♥ Won’t you please visit Esther’s and share some Fresh Market Friday encouragement…because we all need a little encouragement!

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