I’ve spent most of my life running from my past. I’ve boxed up memories, thoughts, and things I felt too painful to face. And because of this, I lived in chains. Fear of the reminders. Anxiety about the memories. Avoidance of people, places, things that would spark the thoughts that brought pain. I was living, but I wasn’t living freely or fully. One of my top priorities was to live without accepting what had happened in my past. In denial, I could claim some sense of sanity. My past had become an idol of sorts. I would do anything to avoid it, even avoid God. And so when my past came knocking, as anything we run from eventually will, my faith suffered immensely. It was my sophomore year of college when all my running finally caught up with me. I was flooded with Continue Reading
When You Need Freedom from Your Shame Dress
For years, I believed that living without shame was like living without blood...there was just no way I could ever do it. Every morning, I would put my shame on like a dress around my heart. My "shame dress" was heavy and colored with guilt, dishonor, self-reproach, and humiliation. Inside I was a wreck. Yet like a typical shame sufferer, I kept it to myself. The only thing worse than the shame I was carrying was others knowing what was really going on in my heart. What was I so ashamed of? My shame came from my poor relationship with Jesus. You see, I knew that I needed to be seeking Him more, reading more, praying more and feeling more...something. However, I came up empty-handed every time. I could not get the hang of this Christianity thing. Was a relationship with Continue Reading