Before experiencing motherhood for myself, I had this expectation that I was going to be a better mother than my mother ever was. That is if I was ever going to be a mother at all.
To be clear, I had a healthy childhood and my mother did a masterful job at caring for all of her children but as far as I could see motherhood was a tiring, messy task, with little to no reward. These thoughts were so deeply ingrained, were it up to me, I would have lived my life to ensure that children were not on my radar.
Then I met my husband and began to see the possibilities of love.
We were married when I was 22, and I had my first child at 23 which was manageable at first. Then our family of three became a family of four…then five. Somehow I went from not wanting kids at all to parenting three kids in three years with my patient, loving husband.
This was my introduction to full-fledged, imperfect motherhood.
My undoing came at the speed of light, and I had a lot to learn. One of the first lessons I picked up from those more proficient than I at this motherhood thing to was never to wake a sleeping baby, for sleep was precious – theirs and mine.
There was one day in particular when I thought I’d gotten the hang of being a mother. My husband was at work, and I was home with three young ones. After successfully leaving the house and completing errands, I made my way home, with all three of my children asleep. There I sat in my car, three babies sleeping in their car seats, with a look of perplexed bewilderment on my face as I tried to figure out the logistics of my situation.
How do I bring three sleeping children inside and up a flight of stairs without waking any of them? How do I prolong this moment?
The thought crossed my mind that perhaps nap time would occur in the car with me sitting at the steering wheel. 
I must have looked unbelievably anxious as I pondered my course of action because a woman, who I didn’t know, passed by, poked her head into the car, and asked if I needed help. Of course, I needed help – I was dumbfounded and stunned into inaction. I jumped on her offer, perhaps a bit too eagerly and exclaimed “Yes!”
We don't have to do it all alone. We were never meant to. ~Brene Brown Share on XShe helped me carry those children inside, each of us taking turns and then gently resting each child on the nearest bed. Could she relate? Who was she? Is she a mom too?
When she left, in those few quiet moments, I thought, “Look at what I’ve become. An anxious, overwhelmed and imperfect mother who needs help.”
That moment in all of its imperfections made me realize that help was available and my first source was the God up above who had blessed me with these children.
That moment of being so desperate for help and yet help showing up when I needed it mirrored my walk through motherhood. I didn’t always have all the answers, but then God showed up in some way, even in the form of a stranger and provided just what I needed.
I started my imperfect journey of motherhood with resistance, ignorance, and belligerence.
God slowly but surely used the gifts he had blessed me with – my children, to mold me into the mother he intended me to be, refining my resistance to acceptance, my ignorance to wisdom and knowledge and my belligerence to meekness.
My imperfections existed, but God’s perfect peace throughout the journey reminded me of the importance of always trusting Him even in the form of a stranger offering the assistance I needed.
Motherhood was daunting, but I realized early on that I was not on this journey alone. Each step and step and misstep made me braver because I knew that God blessed me with children and He would provide what I needed to raise them and raise them well.
Nylse is a Christian wife and a mother of four who currently resides in Los Angeles, CA. Originally from the Bahamas, she lived in New York prior to relocating to the West Coast. She is a Christian Blogger who writes to encourage others from a Godly perspective at www.lifenotesencouragement.com. When she’s not busy with her family or writing, she is actively involved in the Women’s Ministry at her church. Nylse recently published her first book on marriage: My Best Marriage Advice: How To Thrive In Your Marriage. Nylse never turns down the opportunity for conversation over a hot cup of tea.
Connect with Nylse online: Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and email.
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Sisters, we are called to walk the way of hope instead of the way of defeat. We must claim more than our title of “Daughter of the King.” We must step up and also claim our position.
And we must claim these together. As a sisterhood; a sisterhood of brave women who stand strong in the promises of who God is and who we are.
- We all are Made for Brave.
- We are made to live for something authentic and brave.
- In living brave, we silence the past, transform the future, and take a front row seat to God’s wild and uncontainable love!
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Let’s celebrate our tears and our struggles as we peel away the layers of fear to reveal the beauty of brave.
Let’s risk everything that brave requires for everything that brave has to offer…
Becoming who we were created to be!
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